My Morning Mindset Routine

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Three weeks visiting family may be a little to much. The universe sure was testing my mindset this week. I contribute my ability to not lose my shit more than once to my morning routine. My routine has really helped me start the day off on the right foot. I believe the right morning routine can help anyone.

I use to say I didn’t have time for a morning routine. I realized I had to make time for one. Earlier this year I started getting up a little bit earlier so I could develop a good routine. On school days this means I am waking up at 6 am. That is something I never thought I would say.

I slowly incorporated one thing at a time until I developed the routine I have now. It’s not perfect but it sure does work. Truth be told my morning routine starts the night before. I go to bed early so I can get a good night’s sleep and that makes it more likely I will get up on time.

I’ve been using the sleep cycle app to ensure I get up on time. It senses your sleep cycles and wakes you up when your in the lightest sleep with a gradual alarm. This helps me not to be jolted awake and maximizes my sleep time. It also makes it less likely that I will hit the snooze button. By putting my phone on airplane mode I ensure I won’t be disturbed by any texts, phone calls, or wi fi signals.

The very first thing I incorporated into my morning routine was writing five things I am grateful for in my journal. They cannot be the same things as the day before. It helps remind me that no matter what happens there is always something to be grateful for.  I start my day with a grateful heart.

The next thing I started incorporating into my morning routine was positive affirmations. I have a page full of positive affirmations that I say over and over to myself for five minutes. Every month or so I come up with new affirmations to say to myself. I truly believe that if we tell ourselves something enough we begin to believe it. When we believe something we will do what it takes to achieve it and be a magnet for the things we want in life.

Every single book I’ve read and podcast I have listened to about success or successful people have mentioned meditation. I tried meditation on many occasions without much success at sticking to it. Finally I found something that helps me to meditate and stick to it. That’s the head space app. The meditations are quick and are guided. The time seems to fly by and it’s very easy to follow.

Most recently I have incorporated chanting with crystals. I know this is deeply woo for many people but I find the crystals comforting. I can feel the energy the emit. They have brought a whole new level of zen to my life.

The key to my morning ritual is I do not check my phone or computer before this. I have my phone on airplane mode so no one can disturb my slumber and my morning ritual. I do not allow myself the distraction of my phone or computer until I have completed my entire routine.

Later in the morning I make time to get my daily workout in. It helps me have energy for the rest of my day and it always makes me feel so much better. That endorphin high is really something. Although not a part of my morning routine it’s still something I make time for in the morning.

Don’t worry I make sure to use the bathroom and brush my teeth after my morning ritual too as well as feed my kiddos. It’s those four things in my routine that I attribute for starting my day off on the right foot. Despite the universe testing my zen like state this morning routine has helped me maintain it.

Do you have a morning routine? Comment below and let me know what you do.

I Choose Happiness

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I finished reading the book The Untethered Soul By Michael Singer. Boy was it eye opening. One of the things that stood out the most was we choose whether we want to be happy or not.

If you’re anything like me you might be thinking sometimes things happen that make us unhappy. We have no control over that. In the book they address this. They say we can choose to stay happy no matter what happens. All I could think was wow!

If I have a choice I choose happiness. I know it will be a struggle. I know every day I will have to work at it. If I have a choice I would rather work at being happy then feel depressed.

I struggled with depression most of my life. At one point in time it felt like a dark hole swallowed me. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. Well at least I couldn’t see it at the time. I just wanted it to end.

For years every day I struggled with feeling depressed. I didn’t want to get out of bed. I didn’t want to do anything. I just wanted the pain to end.

How did I change? I focused on whole body health… Mentally, physically and emotionally. As hard as it seemed back then to make a change it was harder to stay in that place. Over the years I transformed.

When that book asked me what I choose I decided I choose happiness. I know not choosing that is harder. I know there will be bad days and good days. When I take a step back I realize how insignificant the things that make me unhappy really are.

I deserve to be happy. I choose to be happy. I want to spend the rest of my life happy and work at making it that way.

What do you choose?

I Don’t Need Their Approval

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If you follow me on Facebook you know I came out this last week and confessed I am a people pleaser. You can view that HERE. I have spent most of my life trying to live up to other people’s expectations. That  didn’t serve me it only left me confused, unhappy, and stressed out.

I preach all the time about being authentically you. As someone who totally lost herself about 7 years ago I know it’s so important. Despite feeling like I had found myself again a few years ago I still continued living up to others expectations and not my own expectations. This was not authentic to me. It’s not authentic to anyone.

Part of me continued to be missing. It wasn’t until I spent a week in Nashville, Tennessee for Beachbody Coach convention without my spouse, my “friends” or my kids around that I realized what was happening. I expressed to my roommates and new friends how unhappy I was about so many things. Just having them listen opened me up to realizing where I was going wrong.

Then during a semi drunk five hour conversation with a stranger in a bar I saw the light. I am a people pleaser. I have spent my ENTIRE life living up to others expectations of me. How I should act, how I should dress, how I should Love, how I should coach, how I should keep my mouth shut, etc… NONE of that was me

I’m not saying I wasn’t me at all. I totally was very much me a lot of the time but many of my decisions were fueled by other people’s expectations of me. There were times I felt like I couldn’t speak up because it was “inappropriate”. There were times I felt I had to push for goals because that’s “how you become successful.” There were times that I felt ashamed of my actions because that’s “Not what a married mom of four does”.  I was so afraid of letting others down that I let myself down.

Seriously who came up with all of these “rules”. Not me. I truly feel we should all be able to be 100% authentically ourselves. We will attract those people who belong in our lives and repel those who don’t. That is NOT a bad thing at all. Who seriously needs to be surrounded by people who make them unhappy. I sure don’t!

This past week I started opening up about things that aren’t me. I opened up about not wanting to live up to others expectations. It wasn’t easy for sure. Part of it was the fear of judgement which I talked about in this post  on Fearing Judgement. The other part was this person inside of me who craves feeling loved and accepted which I felt living up to others expectations would get me. New flash… It doesn’t.

What did I find from this constant need to live up to other expectations? False relationships and a whole lot of unhappiness. If someone really truly accepts me for me they will respect my goals and accept my flaws. They will help me become the best version of me not expect me to fit into their definition of what I should be. I am unique and not meant to fit into anyone’s mold.

Last week I had many epiphanies and the biggest one was that I no longer wanted to live up to other people’s expectations. It’s not authentic to me. It makes me so unhappy. I felt like a bird trapped in a cage. I want to live up to my own expectations. This is MY LIFE! I am in charge of it.

There are many things and words that can help define who I am but those are not ones from other people but myself. Remember we define who we are. We control our actions and our reactions. We deserve to be happy and to thrive not just survive. Don’t let anyone tell you what that should look like. This isn’t their life it’s yours. Dream your own dreams and live your own life.

I know you can do this!