Dealing With Depression

Dealing With Depression, Megan Hall Motivation

 

Most of my life I have struggled with depression. As far back as I remember I would regularly experience a deep sadness and not come out for a long time. Growing up on the outside I looked like a normal child but on the inside I felt nothing but a deep despair.

I can remember not being around people, not because I was introverted but because it was exhausting to put on a happy face when inside I just wanted to cry. I would often hide out somewhere and read a book because in those books I could lose myself. Feeling empty inside was an almost daily struggle.

I don’t want to say that I was always depressed. Depression definitely came and went but when it came it stayed awhile. “Hello depression my old friend”. Depression drove me to thoughts of suicide on multiple occasions. It even caused me to go on depression medication in college which was not good for me. As it turns out I don’t react well will depression medication it actually makes me worse instead of better.

Now it’s hard for people to believe I ever struggled with depression because I am so happy and bubbly all the time. Truth is I still struggle . I have to work really hard not to be sucked down into the black hole of depression. It’s particularly tough on dark days where the sun hides all day. I need my sunshine!

How did I go from suicidal tendencies to positive care bear?

There are a few things that have helped:

  1. I got help. That means I started working with a counselor. I don’t sugar coat life and I let it all out even the dark stuff.
  2. I worked on me. Personal development is my best friend. I am constantly learning and growing.
  3. I leaned on others. When I am starting to feel that black hole sucking me down I verbalize it. It doesn’t have as much power when I talk about what I am feeling.
  4. I took care of the other parts as me. I focus on total body health, mentally, physically, and emotionally.
  5. I thought happy thoughts. In reality I avoid things/situations/people that trigger me if I am not feeling 100%. That especially means alcohol because it’s a depressant.

On many occasions people have said to “just shake it off” or “just get over it” . Unfortunately depression doesn’t work that way. The good news is by being aware and taking care of myself means I can live a life that’s not plagued by depression. That doesn’t mean every day will be wonderful, that means more often than not it is.

If you need help with the steps above check out these blog posts: 5 Ways to Maximize Personal Development5 Ways To Cultivate Positive Relationships, & Overcoming Adversity.

Remember YOU ARE ENOUGH!

XoXo

Megan

Overcoming Adversity

We all face adversity in our lives. No one is immune to it. No one has a perfect life. If we all are experiencing adversity then how do some people move past it quicker than others? The answer is resiliency. Those people who are more resilient will overcome struggles and adversity with greater ease than other people.

Resilient is often a term used for military spouses because our life is filled with adversity and struggle. Things that would normally knock people on their ass for days are part of our norm. That’s not saying that all military spouses are resilient or that their aren’t people out there who experience more adversity or struggles. I share that to show that resiliency is like a muscle and like any other muscle the more you use it the stronger it gets.

Before becoming a military spouse I had my own fair share of adversity. Some of those things left me empty and on the edge of completely giving up. When I left my abusive relationship in 2010 I had literally nothing; no self esteem, no car, no license, no place to live, NOTHING except two daughters to care for. I wanted to end it all, it was not the first or the last time I had this thought, but being a parent to my two daughters was greater than my want to end it all. Adversity on multiple occasions had chopped me off at the knees and made me not want to live anymore.

Since the last time I contemplated suicide I have faced some adversity that would have previously left me rocking in a corner with a straight jacket on if I didn’t end my life first. So how did I build up this resiliency? There’s a couple of things that have helped.

  1. I learned to take care of myself. I mean really take care of myself, make sure that my body, mind, and soul were functioning well so when adversity hit I wasn’t already at half capacity.
  2. I focused on what I could do instead of marinating in what I couldn’t do. Control the controllable, we can’t change the past but we can build a better future.
  3. I continued learning and growing. I worked with a counselor, and several coaches to help me be the best version I could be. I read and listened to information so I could strengthen my mind.
  4. I leaned on people around me. I had hard conversations. I let people in because we can’t do this all alone ESPECIALLY during times of adversity.
  5. I went through it. I didn’t run away from adversity, I experienced it. I felt everything I had been through. I forgave and I learned.

I am not saying when you experience adversity after doing all of that you will just bounce right through it. It will hurt, it will make you sad, and it will kick you in the teeth. You, however, are stronger than any adversity you can face. Take away the lesson you can learn from your adversity and continue to grow and strengthen.

This is your life. You have the steering wheel. There might be rough roads, no roads, and broken roads. You determine how you will deal with each of those. Will you allow one moment of your life to effect the rest of your life? Or will you decide to say “Not today Satan.” and move forward. Always ask yourself “What can I do about this?” You can either take an action or change your mindset there is no “I can do nothing.”

Always remember YOU ARE ENOUGH! This life can be tough but it’s yours to live.

XoXo

Megan

PS If you need support join The Inspired Women Community

Am I Messing My Kids Up?

Whew being a parent is hard. Even if you grew up with the best parents, which most of us didn’t, you still wonder if you are doing this parenting thing “right”.  There is so much conflicting information out there on what to do that it’s really easy to get confused.

I didn’t grow up with the best examples of parenting. There were times I can say that my parents were really awesome but there were many times that not so much. I don’t want to have the effect on my kids that my parents did me. I want them to grow up saying “My mom was a good mom.” Are you feeling me on that?

The problem lies in all this information. Like the book that stated kids who come from a household that doesn’t have both their biological mom and dad can make things harder on them. Or the article that talks about how having a baby via c-section can mess up their gut microbiome. Those are MY KIDS, well two out of four are the first sentence and all four are the second.

It can be really easy to beat ourselves up over all the things we’ve done “wrong” versus focusing on all the things we’ve done right. Some of these things are out of our control like whether we have a c-section or not. Some of these things we could control but made the best decision we could like leaving an abusive relationship. All in all as long as we aren’t abusing our kids physically, mentally, or emotionally, we are all doing pretty damn good.

Here’s a few ways I work through my fear of messing up my kids:

  1. I ask myself ” Am I doing the best I can with the tools I have available?” If I say yes I release the fear, if I say no then I pivot and change what I am doing.
  2. I remind myself that I cannot go back and change the past but I can build a better future. Then I take that first step towards that better future.
  3. I apologize to my children when I mess up or for the mistakes I’ve made in the past. This shows them that adults are not perfect and we all make mistakes.
  4. I continuously learn about how to be a better parent but I take every bit of advice with a grain of salt. I identify what works best for my family and utilize it.
  5. I work on forgiving my parents for all they did wrong and focus on what they did right. I use what they did wrong as learning tools for what not to do with my kids. I try to do more of what they did right with my family.

Being a parent is messy. There is no “perfect” parent out there. Most of us are just doing the best we can with the tools we have available. The amazing  thing is we can always learn new tools that will help us become better parents. Let’s drop the mom shaming and just support each other where we are at.

Every kid, family, parent, and situation is different. Do what is best for your family. You know what that is just trust your gut. This is coming from a foul mouthed, imperfect, loving, vibrant,  mom of four. YOU GOT THIS MOMMA!

XoXo

Megan

PS Come join us in The Inspired Women Community for more support on your journey.

Modern Femme Convention 2017… The Rebirth

This past weekend I attended the Modern Femme 2017 Convention. This was my second time attending this convention. My first time was so profound. It literally catapulted me into what I doing today as a speaker and a coach. I remember listening wide eyed as all the amazing women spoke about business and life. The coaches in the coaches corner literally changed my business trajectory.

A week after the 2016 convention I was asked to come speak at the 2017 convention. I was blown away. I thought “Really? They really want me to come speak?” It took me almost a year to get use to the thought that I would be speaking at the same convention that changed my life. Then a month before this years convention I was asked to coach in the coaches corner as well. Yep that same coaches corner that had helped me so much!

My goal going into the convention was to be present and pour into the women there. I told everyone I was going to give my all to the attendees. I wanted to inspire the women in attendance so they too would be able to experience what I had only a year before. I was going to support the women there so they felt inspired, confident,  and motivated to pursue their dreams.

I did exactly what I came to do. On Saturday evening after the closing remarks I had nothing left. I was exhausted and super emotional. I had spent three days just pouring into these women whether it was a smile, a positive word, coaching, listening, or speaking I gave them everything I had.

Being so in it meant my Self Care suffered. I didn’t sleep as well as normal or as long as normal. I barley ate anything. I definitely got my steps in but I didn’t take time to rest. I was soaking up the emotional energy of those around me and as an empath that can be very draining. When i spoke there was a fire in my soul and everything came out. I did what I came to do.

I have to be honest when I walked out of my presentation and not a single woman had signed up for the killer coaching deals I was offering I felt deflated. I cried. I thought  “I poured everything I had into the convention how could it not come back to me.”  As one friend pointed out I didn’t come there to sell but to serve. That was so true but it still hurt.

On Saturday night I found myself in my hotel  room exhausted, hurt, lonely, and sad. The damn dogs in the room next to me started barking again and I lost it. I went to the front desk to check out in tears because I needed to go home. It took me days to process what this convention meant to me as I recovered from my exhaustion and vulnerability hang over.

This convention was my rebirth. I witnessed my potential to touch and change the lives of other women. Those women in my session didn’t sign up with me not because they didn’t see value in it but they needed to be able to process the convention as well. Last year I learned how to build myself and this year I learned how to embrace who I am. That means embracing not only my genius but my mess too.

I was able to touch and change the lives of so many women. I was told I was a bright light that shone the way and that women looked forward to seeing me. I made things simple and easy. I was even given the hashtag #sunshineandglitter because that’s how I showed up. The topic of my presentation was “Surviving to Thriving”. I thought I was thriving before but today i am thriving on a whole different level.

It was my rebirth because I grew confident in my role as a badass life changer. I am embracing that.  I’m also working on not only embracing the good, but also the bad, and the downright ugly sides of my life because they all are a part of me. All I can say now is I did it, I did what I went to do and I feel so much better for it.

If you are a woman in search of a positive, supportive community then check out communities like Modern Femme Community or my The Inspired Women Community. Be open to learning, growing, and changing. When you are open to change  amazing things can happen. It was the same convention but two different experiences, both necessary and both life changing. Take a chance on something

XoXo

Megan