Don’t Lose Your Sh*t This Holiday Season

Don't Lose Your Sh*t This Holiday Season, Megan Hall, Life Coach

The holidays are upon us. This time of year can be both joyful and very stressful. I was at Whole Foods last weekend and saw the beginning of what I call “Holiday Anger”. This is when people get so stressed out around the holidays they take it out on other people. You know like randomly yelling at people in the parking lot at Whole Foods. Don’t become one of those people losing your sh*t this holiday season.

The last couple of years  I haven’t really felt  the holiday spirit. I dreaded all the shopping, cooking, and angry people. It wasn’t until this year while teaching my clients how to take ownership of their lives that I realized I can take back my holiday season. I don’t need to lose my sh*t and dread the holidays. Instead I could embrace them and feel that joy.

How Not To Lose Your Sh*T this holiday season

1) Identify the areas that bring you most stress when it comes to the holidays

2) Identify the areas that bring you most joy during the holidays

3) Ask yourself how you can minimize the stress and maximize the joy. Do less stressful things and more joyful ones.

4) Set boundaries with those around you 

5) Take good care of yourself because the holidays are emotional and you don’t want to be pouring from an empty cup

For me one of the things that brings me the most stress is holiday shopping. I despise the long lines and the angry people. So to minimize this I do all of my gift shopping online and I only go grocery shopping when I am energized. I make a list , go early and get out so I don’t take on other people’s negative energy. No black Friday shopping here. I minimize the stress by minimizing the stressful parts to my holiday shopping.

Being around family can be a stressful part of the holidays. A great way to minimize this is either do the holidays with your immediate family. That’s what I am doing this year. If you choose to be around extended family don’t engage in the negativity. If the conversation goes down a dark path change the subject or walk away. You don’t have to participate in negative nonsense.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help with the things that bring you most stress. Whether that means seeking a professional to work through the emotional stress or getting someone to help with the shopping.  You don’t have to do all the things by yourself. Don’t be afraid to say no and delegate somethings to other people. Free up sometime to do the joyful things. Take good care of yourself so you can enjoy the holiday season with a full cup instead of an empty one.

Remember as always YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

Feel Your Feelings

Feel Your Feelings, Megan Hall, The Inspired Women PodcastHave you ever pushed down your feelings? Have you ever pretended like something didn’t happen? Avoiding our feelings does us no good. When we avoid them they manifest in other ways. That’s often worse than what would happen if we just process our feelings in the first place. Unfortunately there is no way around it. You need to feel your feelings.

When we don’t process through our feelings we create baggage. I liken this to have a closet in your brain. Every time you don’t process through something it goes in that closet. Then some day something is going to open that closet and it will all come tumbling out. Have you ever argued with someone and mid argument they start bringing up everything from the past? This is because their closet was opened.

How can you feel your feelings?

1) Identify the emotion or emotions you are feeling. Is this anger, sadness, guilt, shame, regret, etc… ?

2) Ask yourself WHY you are feeling this way. Where did these emotions stem from?

3) Feel your feelings. Cry, scream, punch a punching bag… do what you need to in order to feel those feelings in a healthy way.

4) Take ownership in your part in this. What steps do you need to take to rectify the situation? 

5) Heal. That might take therapy, it might take journaling, it might take talking it out, and  it’s probably going to take some forgiveness, but you need to do what it takes to heal. 

Feelings are scary. No one wants to feel grief or sadness or shame but it’s a part of life. Life is not perfect and sometimes bad things happen. If we don’t allow ourselves to feel the “negative” emotions we block out the “positive” emotions too. Have you ever had like a really good cry then later that felt complete joy? If those sad emotions were still hanging around unexpressed you wouldn’t have felt that immense joy that you did.

Holding onto feelings is detrimental to our health, our relationships, and our self esteem. Don’t let something eat away at you for 20 years or even 20 days. Doing that will prevent you from truly experiencing life to it’s fullest. I sure wouldn’t want to see what 20 years of shame manifests as. It would not be very pretty that’s for sure.

It’s ok and healthy to feel your feelings. You can start today. Remember as always YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

Creating Boundaries

Creating Boundaries, Megan Hall, The Inspired Women Podcast

This past weekend I had the pleasure of hosting a Creating Boundaries workshop. Why is creating boundaries important?  90% of the distress, extreme stress and feelings of overwhelm we have can be traced back to unhealthy boundaries. What are boundaries? They are imaginary limits that you use to protect yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally.

There’s a difference between boundaries and defenses. Defenses are used to push people away or keep them at arms length. Boundaries on the other hand are there to protect you. For example a defense might be pushing your spouse away when they go to hug you because you are mad at them. A boundary however would be telling them “I don’t want to be intimate with you until we talk this out.” Your not try to push them away but you are protecting yourself emotionally by saying you need to talk.

There are three kinds of boundaries: Physical, energetic, and spiritual. Physical boundaries are all about protecting you physical body. For example: Telling a stranger who places their hand on your lower back “Please don’t touch me like that. We are not that close.”. Energetic boundaries are all the things that are not physical. For example: Telling your friend that you don’t want them sharing your personal business with other people. Spiritual boundaries are all around your belief system or lack there of. For example: A co worker asks you to go to church with them and you state “No thank you. I don’t attend church” but next week they ask you again.

creating boundaries for your life

1) Identify areas of your life that you are experiencing discomfort, extreme stress or feelings of overwhelm.

2) What is causing you to feel that way?

3) In those areas where are your boundaries being violated?

4) What do your boundaries need to be?

5) Do NOT allow others to continuously violate your boundaries.

Boundary errors occur when someone crosses your boundary accidentally or out of ignorance. A boundary violation occurs when someone disregards a boundary after they have been educated on it. If someone continuously violates your boundaries it’s unlikely they will stop. The first step in a boundary error/violation is to educate the person on your boundary, the second step is to create some kind of consequence for them, and the third step is if it continues you need to create space between you and the other person.

You have every right to create boundaries with other people. No one, even your significant other, has the right to violate your boundaries. By setting boundaries with other people you are also giving them permission to set boundaries with you. If someone cannot respect your boundaries it is time to let them go in order to protect  your physical, mentally, and emotional health.

If you would like more support around creating boundaries as well as other things in your life schedule a free 30 minute connection call with me to see how I can help. Remember YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

 

 

If You Don’t Ask The Answers Always No

If you don't ask the answers always no, Megan Hall, The Inspired Women Podcast

One of the best pieces of advice my husband has ever given me is “If you don’t ask the answers always no.” As someone with a curious mind I use to allow the fear that people would judge me or think I am stupid for asking questions hold me back. How are we to know the answer if we don’t ask?

Many times we are so afraid of rejection that we freeze up and never ask what we want to. This can hold us back in so many aspects of our lives. If we only ask the questions we know the answers to how are we suppose to learn and grow? Life is full of risks and this is just one of them.

If You don’t ask the answers always no… Minimizing your risk:

1) Do your research. With everything at our finger tips it’s relatively easy to do. 

2) Build relationships. When people know, like, and trust you they are more likely to say yes. 

3) Weigh the best case scenario against the worst case scenario. Is the bad really that bad? Is it worth risking for the best outcome?

4) Have a back up plan. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket so essentially you lose everything if you get the answer you don’t want. 

5) Realize that someone’s response to your question has more to do with them than it has to do with you. Still reevaluate after but don’t take it to heart. 

It’s impossible to read someone’s mind. Unless if those are your psychic powers but even then you won’t be right 100% of the time. The best way to find out the answer to your question is ask. Use these tips to help you have a foundation to which you can minimize the risks associated with asking your question.

In all reality the worst case scenario usually means that we end up right back where we were before we asked. That’s not really not setting us back that far. Don’t give up on asking questions because you are rejected or someone is judgmental of your question. As long as your question is appropriate for the relationship you have with this person it will all be ok. If you don’t ask the answers always no and you will be left wondering what the answer could have been.

Remember YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall