Boundary Basics

Boundary Basics, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

You may or may not have heard the terms boundaries. A boundary is an often unspoken rule protecting your energetic space. Many boundaries almost seem like common sense ex: don’t grab a strangers ass. Other boundaries can vary person by person and situation by situation.  What may be acceptable to one person in one type of  situation may not be acceptable to another person.

Boundaries are necessary in order to maintain good physical, mental and emotional health. They come in all forms from physical boundaries to social media boundaries to boundaries around your time and everything in between. Many times we hesitate to set or maintain our boundaries because we are so scared of how others might react. It’s imperative that we do it anyways.

Here Are Some Boundary Basics

1) Ask yourself what actions/words are acceptable and not acceptable to you. 

2) Allow some variance in your boundaries depending on your relationship with someone. What’s acceptable for your spouse won’t always be for a stranger. 

3) Speak up when someone violates your boundaries. You can say “That was no ok. Please don’t do it again.”

4) Do not apologize for setting a boundary with someone. It’s your right to protect your space. 

5) Reevaluate your boundaries every once in awhile. As we change our boundaries can too. 

Boundaries are not a way to keep people out but are a way to protect ourselves. Think of this less like a wall and more like a fence with a gate. It is all about protecting our energetic space. How we go about this is up to us as individuals and not up to other people. Don’t let others dictate what your boundaries should or should not be.

If you want more information about boundaries tune into The Inspired Women Podcast or check out these articles on Creating Boundaries & What’s in Your Space. Remember you are brave, you are beautiful, you are amazing, and YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

 

5 Important Aspects of Positive Communication

5 Important Aspects of Positive Communication, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

Let’s be honest in today’s world positive communication is lacking. When we state our personal opinion we are opening ourselves up for an attack on our character. We seem to struggle to communicate effectively on and offline with other people with differing opinions. The thought process seems to be if you don’t agree with me you are the enemy. That’s simply not true.

Communication is a key factor to the success or failure of our relationships. Poor communication can cause relationships to fall apart. Many of the people we are in relationships with, from friends to clients to spouses to co workers, have different opinions than us. That’s ok and healthy even. How we handle those differing opinions is crucial.

5 important aspects of positive communication

1) Speak your opinion without bashing someone’s character. Ex: I think we need nationwide gun laws VS anyone who isn’t for nationwide gun laws are psychopaths.

2) Be willing to listen to someone else to actually hear them instead listening to trying to come up with a response.

3) Have an open mind. There’s no way to communicate with someone else if we aren’t open to hearing a differing opinion. 

4) Allow the other person an opportunity to speak. Communication is a two way street. 

5) Don’t feed into the negativity. If someone else isn’t willing to have an open conversation walk away or change the subject. 

Diversity is the spice of life. The world would be so boring if we all just agreed and went along with the status quo. That’s where groupthink starts. Nothing is accomplished with groupthink because there is no one to challenge the group. Diversity breeds innovation and creativity. It allows us to learn and grow.

Positive communication doesn’t have to be complex but it does take two people. We can only control our end of the conversation, we cannot control others. When someone challenges our opinions is makes us uncomfortable. Our first inclination might be to get defensive but in order to truly communicate we have to listen. Listening does not equal agreeing or even changing our opinion but being open minded to differing opinions.

The world needs more positive communication in it. The internet has given us this platform to sometimes say things we wouldn’t dare to say in person. We can’t assume to know someone’s intention without having a conversation with them. Let’s go forth with an open mind and a listening ear.

Remember you are brave, you are strong, you are beautiful, and YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

 

 

What I Learned From Being Clinically Depressed

Clinically Depressed, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

Why is positivity so important to me? It’s because I know what it’s like to be negative. Towards the end of 2013 after a failed suicide attempt a doctor diagnosed me as clinically depressed. Nothing like being slapped with a  label to make you not be so positive. Most of my life I had experienced depression even from a very young age. Yet I was a pretty positive child.

Since being diagnosed over 4+ years I have learned many ways to cope with my depression. I’ve learned to be more mindful of how I’m feeling. Also I’ve learned to be more mindful about who I allow in my space. Even though I’m diagnosed as clinically depressed I don’ think that it has to be a part of my life forever. I can choose to do things to diminish it’s effects on me.

What I Learned From Being Clinically Depressed

1) It’s just a diagnosis not a life sentence. 

2) Taking care of myself is the most important thing I need to do.

3) Consistently negative people can trigger my depression. 

4) Healing takes time and the more I heal the less depressed I am.

5) A positive person can experience depression. 

Many of the things I do to help me diminish the effects of depression on me are the same things that have helped me build a more positive mindset. It all starts in the mind which is a fascinating complex thing. Only 50% of who we are is genes, the other 50% is our experiences. That means my genetics only are responsible for about 50% of my depression. The other 50% is how the experiences of my life shaped me.

That to me is fantastic news because it truly proves that being diagnosed with clinical depression is not a life sentence. I can, with time and hard work, overcome this diagnosis. Can I “cure” myself? No but I may go extended periods of time without ever experiencing depression. That’s like music to my ears.

If the label slapped on you is clinically depressed or negative or anything else know you can overcome this. It might take time. It might take hard work. You might even need professional help but you can do this! Remember you are brave, you are beautiful, you are amazing, and YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

 

 

5 Things That Could Be Tearing Your Relationship Apart

5 things that could be tearing your relationship apart, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

My husband and I celebrated our 7 year anniversary in December. I wish I could say that marriage has been easy or even fun.  To be honest it’s been hard. Some days I want to walk away from it all. So why I am still married? Because the positive aspects are so amazing that they overshadow the negative aspects.

I had no idea what I was getting myself into when I married my husband. He’s a US Navy sailor and as much as he tried to prepare me for military life there’s no way of understanding until you’re in it. I also believed that being married would make all the bad in my life go away. As if marriage was a magical wand that could bippity boppity boo me whole and healed. It didn’t work like that and I was totally unprepared to be there for another human going through their own shit.

Over the years though I have learned a thing or two about marriage. In no way, shape, or form am I an expert. Marriage is so complex I may never fully understand it. There are a few things that I’ve seen tear my own relationship apart and those are things worth sharing. Maybe it will save you a few struggles too.

5 Things That could be tearing your relationship Apart

1) Dishonesty. Dishonesty of any kind whether seemingly insignificant or really big can poke holes in your marriage. 

2) Expecting your spouse to be everything to you. Like be my best friend, my spouse, my therapist, my ATM, etc…. Fulfilling all the roles.

3) Putting their needs above your own. This seems counter intuitive but if you aren’t taking care of yourself you are giving them a second rate version of you.

4) Not having any independence. Not only does this go back to #3 but being around one person 24/7 is ALOT for anyone to handle. 

5) Using them as your emotional dumping ground. Check out this episode of The Inspired Women Podcast.  

Marriage can be such a wonderful experience. Having someone who is there to support you through the good times and the bad is magical. We can’t lose ourselves in the process of marriage though. That leads to resentment and each of us becoming half rate versions of ourselves. Is that really how we want to live our lives? I don’t.  I want marriage to make me a better person.

Remember a relationship is a two way street. We cannot have a marriage without the other person putting in their effort as well. You are only in control of your actions, words, and reactions.  The other person has to be in control of theirs as well. There can be hard times but there can be really amazing times too if both people are willing to put in the effort to make it work.

If you would like more resources on relationships check these articles out. How a Deployment Saved My MarriageWhat Relationships Are Not5 Ways To Cultivate Positive Relationships & 5 Things Being A Military Spouse Taught Me About Relationships.

Remember you are amazing, you are beautiful, you are brave, & YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

Why You Are Your Own Worst Critic

Why you are your own worst critic., Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

Ever notice your biggest critic is the voice inside your head? It’s difficult to stay positive when there is this loud negative voice constantly showing up in your life. Our inner critic seems to show up at the most inconvenient of times whether it’s a speaking engagement or a call with a new client. The more we ignore it the louder it gets. You have to understand is why you are your own worst critic before you can handle it.

It’s impossible to really engage with someone when we don’t know them. Engaging someone we don’t understand causes us to jump to so many conclusions. Many times when it comes to our inner critic we just don’t understand her and think we are the only ones out there who deals with this. The answer is we all have it just some people are better at challenging and turning down the volume on their inner critic than others.

Why you are your own worst critic

1) You have spent a lifetime with yourself that means you know things about you that no one else does. 

2) Your experiences in life have shaped you for the good or bad. Everything that  has happened when you were younger up until now will fuel this critic.

3) This is not a conversation you can just walk away from because it’s happening in your own head.

4) When other people say what you are saying inside your head it just further validates your inner critic. 

5) Your ego wants you to be right and wants you to be safe.  That’s why when your inner critic pipes up your ego will look for all the reasons that she is right. Your ego is also more likely to focus on the negative because it’s trying to “protect” you from it. 

Does this mean we are all screwed? Absolutely not! There are many things we can put in place that will help turn down the volume on this inner critic and challenge her when she shows up. By challenging her I don’t mean try to ignore her because like a little child having a tantrum she will just yell louder. Instead we need to challenge her thinking by pointing out why she’s wrong.

Over time with challenging our inner critic and surrounding ourselves with people who don’t feed her she will learn to play nice. This doesn’t mean she will completely disappear just think of this as her growing up from toddler to adolescent. Our inner critic will learn to be on the playground (our mind) and let other people (our thoughts) have their own turn. She will still sometimes show up like “Hey I’m still here” but she will be a hell of a lot calmer and you will know how to handle her in a much healthier way.

If you need help turning down the volume on  your inner critic then put your information in the sign up link below. Remember you are brave, you are beautiful, you are amazing, and YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall