Social Anxiety is Real

Social Anxiety is real, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

I know it’s hard for anyone who has met me to believe but I have social anxiety. What is social anxiety? Social anxiety is what it sounds like, it’s nervousness in social situations. Sometimes this is quite severe where people cannot even be in social situations without a full on panic attack. Other times people can function in social situations but those situations make them very anxious.

I have more moderate social anxiety. Most of my nervousness is more internal.  I can hold conversations and even speak publicly but my whole insides are a mess. When I was younger it was so much worse but now it’s only bad when I am around a lot of people who I don’t know. Through out the years there have been many things that help to minimize my social anxiety.

How I Manage My Social Anxiety

1) Saying no to attending things that I know I won’t feel comfortable at

2) Making sure I am in a good place emotionally when I attend social functions

3) Leaving early if I am starting to feel drained 

4) Taking a bathroom break or break outside for some deep breathing when I start to feel nervous

5) Minimizing my alcohol intake in uncomfortable social situation

Sometimes social anxiety requires therapy. Either way being really mindful of how we feel in social situations is very important. We can’t be afraid to say no or leave when we don’t feel comfortable. With social anxiety you may not always feel 100% comfortable so choose the situations that won’t drain you in five minutes. Maybe these are the things that you can make it two hours before you have to go home.

Don’t let this stop you from being social and making new friends or connections. Just make sure you have ample time to rejuvenate afterwards. Remember YOU ARE BRAVE, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE AMAZING, & YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

Ending the Stigma

Ending the Stigma, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

I remember when the first time I saw a therapist. My husband had to ask his work to leave early so I could go to my appointments every week. I remember being so worried that other people would find out and judge me. Over my life time I had heard so many people make cruel comments about people who were in therapy. That stigma is part of the reason I didn’t want to go in the first place.

Fast forward five years and I will tell anyone who will listen that I see a therapist. Why? It changed my life! So much so that I am pursuing a degree in psychology so I can help others as well. I openly share my story to help dismantle the stigma around mental health. Each time I share I hope that it will encourage others to go seek out therapy as well.

How we can help end the stigma around mental health

1) Seek out therapy ourselves. Others won’t learn just by hearing but by seeing. 

2) Share our mental health struggles openly. This doesn’t have to be with strangers but with those closest to us. 

3) Support others who are struggling by being empathetic not judgmental.

4) Speak out when we hear someone making ignorant comments about mental health. 

5) Surround ourselves with mental health advocates who are willing to talk about mental health. 

Mental health is just as important as physical health. Society doesn’t see a problem with seeking out a doctor when we have problems with physical health. It is ludicrous to think that it’s not also just as acceptable to seek out a therapist when we have problems with our emotional health. If we want to make total body health acceptable we must start here.

I am going to keep sharing my story and I hope you will as well. Let’s work towards ending the stigma around mental health together. Then perhaps more people will seek the help they need before it’s too late. If you want to hear more about my mental health journey you can tune into The Inspired Women Podcast or read Dealing With Depression and What I Learned From Being Clinically Depressed.

Remember you are beautiful, you are brave, you are amazing, and YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

 

Stop Tolerating Other People’s Bullshit

Stop tolerating other people's bullshit, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

Can I be real with you for a second? We tolerate way too much bullshit. Many times we do it because we don’t want to be mean or we can’t imagine what someone will say if we don’t. Guess what? We aren’t being mean and what people say about us is none of our business. That’s all about them not us. Stop tolerating other people’s bullshit.

When I was in college the first time around we read a book on bullshit. Yes there is a book on bullshit. It’s short, sweet and you can get it where ever books are sold. I haven’t read the book in awhile, like 12 years, but what I remember most about the book is how it points out that we tolerate to much bullshit. It’s not untrue. We, as a society, are so polite that sometimes we become too polite. During the process we fail to set boundaries with other people.

How to stop tolerating other People’s Bullshit

1) Learn to say no. Without excuse, without reason, without anything… No is a complete sentence. 

2) Stop spending time with people who drain you. Just cut them loose.

3) Be you unapologetic-ally. Stop pretending to be someone your not just to impress the bullshitters. 

4) Find your limit. We each can only tolerate so much bullshit in a day. Some times bullshit is unavoidable so know your limit.

5) Get real with your soul. Is this path really the one your suppose to be on?

That last tip might have thrown you for a loop. Why does the path I’m on really matter? We often tolerate other people’s bullshit because we think we have to in order to get where we want to be. Once we get there we realize this is not where we wanted to be at all! That’s because we don’t take the time to check in with ourselves and get real about where we are going.

No matter what your goals and dreams are you shouldn’t have to tolerate other people’s bullshit. It doesn’t make you polite. Instead it emotionally drains you or mentally exhausts you. That’s just not a life to live. Be merciless about setting boundaries. You only get one life, might as well make it a good one.

Remember YOU ARE BRAVE, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE AMAZING, and YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

PS You can check out these resources on boundaries: Creating BoundariesBoundary Basics, & What’s in Your Space.

Protecting Your Space

Protecting Your Space, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

As I drove my teenage daughter to school this morning her 6 & 8 year old sisters fought in the back of the van. I heard “No don’t do that.” followed by “Mom Lillian won’t stop putting sand on me.” Lillian’s rebuttal “I want to play with her.” I told her that  her sister said no and she needs to respect her boundaries. My son piped up ” What are boundaries?” To which I responded “Protecting your space.”

Really when we boil down to the core of what boundaries are it’s about protecting ourselves. My son even said this morning “I own my body.” Yes he does and that’s why he needs boundaries. You own your body too and that’s why you need boundaries. Of all the things in the world our bodies are the one thing we are guaranteed to own. No matter how hard societies try to take that ownership away from us it’s just not possible. Why? Because we are our bodies, our mind, our souls and we have the right to protect those things.

Protecting your space

1) Take ownership of you and your space. No one has ownership over that but you.

2) Be mindful of what doesn’t belong in your space or what words/actions make you feel like an invasion of your space. 

3) Do NOT let anyone try to coerce you into letting them invade that space. 

4) Respect other people’s space. 

5) Allow for the protection of that space to change over time. You might decide to tighten up security or loosen it up. 

I want you to be empowered to protect your space the same way I try to empower my children to. This is your space. It’s up to you to protect it fiercely. That means protecting mind, body, soul and everything in between. This morning we even had to talk about being that person I mention in #3. My darling Lillian tried to tell her sister “If you don’t let me do this you can’t be a part of my game.” That’s a big no no even on an adult level. Don’t let anyone try to convince you that your boundaries are not ok.

Protecting your space is one of the most powerful forms of self care. Hell it’s not just important for self care but self preservation. This is not about blocking people out but allowing the right people in at the right times. There is no one person out there who deserves 24 hour access to any part of you they want. Protect your space fiercely and unapologetic-ally. Remember you are brave, you are beautiful, you are amazing, and YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

 

Preventing Groupthink

Preventing Groupthink, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

I like to think of groupthink as the sheep mentality. It’s kind of like the way sheep follow each other and do everything together. Can groupthink be a good thing? Yes when you are working as a team and everyone is able to come to a common solution that is helpful. Where it goes bad is when individuals don’t want to or don’t feel like they can or just don’t think for themselves. This is where the word conformity comes into play. Everyone conforming to the “norm” of the group.

Diversity is what makes the world go round. Without it we would not see creative thinking or be able to advance in our technology or expand our minds. Thinking, acting, and believing the same as everyone else puts us at a distinct disadvantage. Groupthink stunts our personal growth and  makes us cookie cutter versions of each other. How boring is that? To me that’s super boring. I love to see people thinking for themselves and not going along with the status quo.

preventing groupthink starts with us

1) Diversify the people you hang out with. Don’t just hang out with people who think, act, believe or look like you.

2) Listen to opposing views with an open mind. 

3) Get your information from a variety of places. Even try getting it from new places once in awhile. 

4) Have new experiences. New experiences = new people. 

5) Question everything. Don’t be afraid to place devils advocate. 

We really need to check our belief and opinions. Does everyone around us believe the same thing? Are we closed off to opposing views? Why do we even believe these things in the first place? I had a conversation with my husband about profanity that helps explain this. I believe words are only words. We decide what power they have by how we use them. The only reason some words are considered taboo is because someone somewhere made them that way. Back in the day ass meant donkey and bitch meant female dog.

The problem with groupthink is it prevents us from thinking outside the box. Instead of questioning everything we just go along with it. In extremes this is how Nazis and cults were formed. We must be willing to decide on our own how we feel about the world. That may mean being different than your best friend or your sister. That’s ok because that’s how change occurs. Remember you are brave, you are beautiful, you are amazing and YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

3 Things We Need To Do Before Adversity Strikes

Adversity, Megan Hall

March 28th I received a call no mom wants to receive, it was my oldest daughters father telling me our daughter was in the hospital 600 miles from me. The next two and a half weeks were a whirlwind, every day it seemed something changed. I drove over 3,000 miles in that time finding myself in the end physically, mentally & emotionally exhausted.

There have been days since that call that I have thought “I don’t think I can take much more”  but then I do. It’s amazing how resilient a person can be when they have to be. There are so many things I attribute to my resilience but there are three main things that helped me hold it together.

3 Things We Need To Do Before Adversity Strikes

1) Create a solid support network. Several people we can turn to when shit hits the fan.

2) Develop and utilize a self are routine. That means taking care of yourself BEFORE adversity strikes as well as after. 

3) Work on personal development. That means continuing to learn an grown on a DAILY basis. Seek out a therapist and/or coach to help you. 

Without all the personal development, including many hours with my therapist, and a solid self care routine I would have been a wreck during those weeks of chaos. Even though my PD & self care became very inconsistent during those three weeks because of the constant changes that occurred. Because I had already built those habits they didn’t take as much effort to implement when I could.

We can’t do this on our own try as we might. We each are only capable of so much. That’s why my #1 tip is that support network. Without the people who offered their time, houses, and listening ears I would not have made it through. Those were all people I spent time building relationships with BEFORE this all happen. It’s important to spend time cultivating those relationships so that you aren’t all alone when shitty things happen.

We all have negative experiences in our lives. These three things will help you significantly when they do. Remember you are brave, you are strong, and YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

5 Social Media Boundaries We Need

Social media Boundaries, Megan Hall

Social media is a fickle animal. I have a love/hate relationship with it. Some days I love it so much and feel excited/motivated when I get off. Other days I hate it and feel drained when I get off. It’s not just the people that drain me but it’s the time I spend on social media as well.

The more comfortable I’ve become with setting boundaries around my social media the less I feel drained. Social media can be whatever we want to make it. It’s our space to decide what we want to do with it. We decide the privacy, who we connected to, and what information we see.

5 Social Media Boundaries We Need

1. Time Boundaries: How much time will you spend on social media daily

2. Privacy Boundaries: What’s public and what’s private

3. People Boundaries: Who will you allow to be connected to you on Social Media

4. Content Boundaries: What do you want to see in your newsfeed

5. Business Boundaries: How do you want businesses to interact with you and what businesses do you want to interact with

By setting these very basic boundaries we can significantly reduce the amount of stress and overwhelm that comes with social media. This is a time for inner reflection. Ask yourself what don’t you like about social media or what stresses you out about it. Once you’ve figured that out revisit the above boundaries and ask which one you need to work on.

It can be really easy to think that the only option is to delete social media altogether. Even though that is an option you don’t have to choose that option. By tightening up our boundaries and not wavering we can significantly reduce that hate side of the relationship. Your social media is yours. You get to curate it to look/feel anyway you want.

Want to hear more about social media? Check out this article: Is Social Media Killing Our Vibes. Remember you are beautiful, you are brave, you are amazing, and YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!!

XoXo
Megan Hall

PS Remember just because you set boundaries does not mean your social is private.  No matter the privacy settings whatever you post is owned by that platform.

When My Daughter Said I Was Fake

When My Daughter Said I Was Fake, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

Last week my teenage daughter had a medical emergency in NY where she was living with her  biological father. Within 48 hours I was driving up there to be with her and create a plan to get her the help she needs. While we were in the hospital discussing the possibility of my daughter moving back with me her father turned to me and said “She says you are fake.” I was so confused and embarrassed that my teenage daughter would be saying that about me to others.

Over the course of the next five days as we met with doctors and she was admitted to a new hospital the idea that I was fake kept coming up. I even brought up this comment to her and asked why… the answers weren’t pretty. It wasn’t until I came back home that the implications of this comment really set in. My 15 year old daughter thinks I pretend to be something I am not. Why would she think this? What kind of example am I setting? Getting the answers required a lot of self reflection.

HOw I Can Stop being fake

1) Instead of saying my family is a top priority I need to show them they are by being intentional about the time I spend with them.

2) Make sure the at home me and the online me are on the same page. 

3) Don’t share everything on social media. Transparency is important but there needs to be boundaries. 

4) Accept that my kids did not sign up to be public figures and respect their boundaries around that. 

5) Be more open to the feedback of my children especially when it comes to me as a person or a parent. 

This was a wake up call for me. It was painful to reflect on where my daughter’s perception might be right. During this reflection I saw where my public persona diverged from my private one. As a teenager who uses social media my daughter saw this too. It’s difficult to admit when someone might be right in criticism of you but in order to learn we must swallow our pride.

It was a blow to my ego to have a light shined on my inauthenticity. I want to be someone my children look up to and learn from. The only way to do that is to be more present with them and be sure I’m in alignment both publicly and privately. This will be a whole new experience because I didn’t even see this problem before it was pointed out to me.

I share this in hopes that you can learn from this mistake as well. There is never a time that we will be done learning and growing. Remember you are brave, you are bright, you are amazing, YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

Boundary Basics

Boundary Basics, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

You may or may not have heard the terms boundaries. A boundary is an often unspoken rule protecting your energetic space. Many boundaries almost seem like common sense ex: don’t grab a strangers ass. Other boundaries can vary person by person and situation by situation.  What may be acceptable to one person in one type of  situation may not be acceptable to another person.

Boundaries are necessary in order to maintain good physical, mental and emotional health. They come in all forms from physical boundaries to social media boundaries to boundaries around your time and everything in between. Many times we hesitate to set or maintain our boundaries because we are so scared of how others might react. It’s imperative that we do it anyways.

Here Are Some Boundary Basics

1) Ask yourself what actions/words are acceptable and not acceptable to you. 

2) Allow some variance in your boundaries depending on your relationship with someone. What’s acceptable for your spouse won’t always be for a stranger. 

3) Speak up when someone violates your boundaries. You can say “That was no ok. Please don’t do it again.”

4) Do not apologize for setting a boundary with someone. It’s your right to protect your space. 

5) Reevaluate your boundaries every once in awhile. As we change our boundaries can too. 

Boundaries are not a way to keep people out but are a way to protect ourselves. Think of this less like a wall and more like a fence with a gate. It is all about protecting our energetic space. How we go about this is up to us as individuals and not up to other people. Don’t let others dictate what your boundaries should or should not be.

If you want more information about boundaries tune into The Inspired Women Podcast or check out these articles on Creating Boundaries & What’s in Your Space. Remember you are brave, you are beautiful, you are amazing, and YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

 

5 Important Aspects of Positive Communication

5 Important Aspects of Positive Communication, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

Let’s be honest in today’s world positive communication is lacking. When we state our personal opinion we are opening ourselves up for an attack on our character. We seem to struggle to communicate effectively on and offline with other people with differing opinions. The thought process seems to be if you don’t agree with me you are the enemy. That’s simply not true.

Communication is a key factor to the success or failure of our relationships. Poor communication can cause relationships to fall apart. Many of the people we are in relationships with, from friends to clients to spouses to co workers, have different opinions than us. That’s ok and healthy even. How we handle those differing opinions is crucial.

5 important aspects of positive communication

1) Speak your opinion without bashing someone’s character. Ex: I think we need nationwide gun laws VS anyone who isn’t for nationwide gun laws are psychopaths.

2) Be willing to listen to someone else to actually hear them instead listening to trying to come up with a response.

3) Have an open mind. There’s no way to communicate with someone else if we aren’t open to hearing a differing opinion. 

4) Allow the other person an opportunity to speak. Communication is a two way street. 

5) Don’t feed into the negativity. If someone else isn’t willing to have an open conversation walk away or change the subject. 

Diversity is the spice of life. The world would be so boring if we all just agreed and went along with the status quo. That’s where groupthink starts. Nothing is accomplished with groupthink because there is no one to challenge the group. Diversity breeds innovation and creativity. It allows us to learn and grow.

Positive communication doesn’t have to be complex but it does take two people. We can only control our end of the conversation, we cannot control others. When someone challenges our opinions is makes us uncomfortable. Our first inclination might be to get defensive but in order to truly communicate we have to listen. Listening does not equal agreeing or even changing our opinion but being open minded to differing opinions.

The world needs more positive communication in it. The internet has given us this platform to sometimes say things we wouldn’t dare to say in person. We can’t assume to know someone’s intention without having a conversation with them. Let’s go forth with an open mind and a listening ear.

Remember you are brave, you are strong, you are beautiful, and YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall