5 Signs You Might Want To Break Up With Alcohol

5 Signs You Might Want To Break Up With Alcohol, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

My relationship with alcohol started when I was a teenager. Growing up I didn’t have very many if any examples of healthy relationships with alcohol. It was everywhere I went. In my young, impressionable mind this made it seem like alcohol was necessary. Birth… alcohol. Death… alcohol. Sad… alcohol. Happy… alcohol. The only people I saw break up with alcohol were alcoholics.

Alcohol was my liquid courage. Alcohol was my buffer. I didn’t have to deal with my social anxiety or any other feelings for that matter when I was drunk. People seemed to accept me when I was drinking. I finally fit in! As a nerdy introvert this was life. The unfortunate thing as much as much as alcohol seemed to improve my life it had it’s dark side. My relationship with alcohol would sometimes become dangerous and toxic like a bleeding ulcer and a DWI.

5 signs that you might need to break up with alcohol too

1) On more than one occasion you had to apologize for your behavior while drinking. 

2) You have blacked out while drinking…. multiple times.

3) When you drink you drink to get drunk. You don’t stop at one or two drinks.

4) Drinking has caused problems in your relationships with other people.

5) You drink to relieve stress or to numb out emotions. 

This doesn’t necessarily mean you are an alcoholic. You, like me, may be able to go a long time without drinking and may have not feel the need to consume alcohol during that time. You just might have a toxic relationship with alcohol. That may mean like any toxic relationship you have to create some space between you and the other part of the relationship. Alcohol will never change but your relationship with it might. For now it’s probably time for a break.

Personally I know my relationship with alcohol has prevented me from showing up as my best self personally and professionally. A nagging voice in my head (hello higher self) has been saying I need to call it quits. I haven’t set a limit on this so I don’t know if it will be 6 month, 6 years, or forever. This will help me have time and room to grow and heal. It’s my goal to be the best version of me I can be. If that’s your goal too and you resonated with the signs it might be time to take a break. I’m here to support you.

Remember YOU ARE BRAVE, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE WORTHY & YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

 

 

How to Deal With Mean Girls

How to deal with mean girls, Megan Hall, Life coach, motivational speaker

This week’s Fri-YAY episode of The Inspired Women Podcast I chat about mean girls. When I was younger I thought when I became an adult I wouldn’t have to deal with mean girls anymore. I was wrong because mean girls become mean women. Mean women have access to many more ways of being mean.

When we were kids mean girls might push us, call us names, say mean things, or exclude us. Mean women do all of those things and even more. Mean women have can black mail or black ball you. They can do things that can permanently effect your position in a certain group or company. Mean women can be ruthless.

How to deal with mean girls aka mean women

1) Start with it’s not you it’s them. You are enough just as you are. 

2) Stop trying to “fit in” with them. This is just adding fuel to the fire they can smell in-authenticity. 

3) Distance yourself from them. The more you allow yourself to be around them the more it will hurt. 

4) Stand up for yourself and what you believe in. When they come at you don’t attack them instead stand your ground. 

5) Surround yourself with women who support you and make you feel good about yourself. 

We just want to be accepted right? Especially if we spent most of our lives trying to fit in but never really feeling like we belong. Often times mean girls are part of a clique and we want to belong to something like that. If someone is being mean to you, making your feel like you don’t belong, or tearing other women down you have to ask yourself if you really want to be a part of that. Don’t stoop to their level.

So many times in my life I tried desperately to fit in. Every time I walked away feeling rejected and empty inside usually after being the victim of some mean girls. As women mean girls have developed a subtler ways of being mean. It’s not always blatant. It wasn’t until I really took the time to discover who I was, what I stood for, and how I wanted to feel that I realized these kinds of people just weren’t worth my time. Instead I took time to find those women who were worth it. They often have been the victims of mean girls too.

If you want help discovering who you are check out this article I once was lost & Finding the right community for you. Remember YOU ARE BRAVE, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE WORTHY, & YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

Finding Your Why

Finding Your Why, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

If you’ve been in the personal development world for any length of time at all you might have heard about finding your why. Every one has a why or the reason behind everything they do. The stronger your why the stronger the motivation for achieving your goals will be. Your why is really the fuel for your fire.

Sometimes we feel stumped when trying to discover our why. Our why might even come out without any oomph. We wonder where that passion everyone is talking is. We might scream to ourselves “I don’t know why?!?!” out of pure frustration. The problem is when we don’t have a solid why it can be really easy to give up on our goals and dreams.

finding your why:

1) Play the why game. Ask yourself why and when you answer ask yourself why for that answer. Keep doing this until you cannot answer the question anymore. 

2) Find a quiet place to journal. Just keep writing about this goal/dream until you have uncovered that deep why. 

3) Talk it out with someone. This might be your coach or your business bestie or someone else but someone who can ask you the right questions. 

4) Ask yourself if this is really something you want to do. If you are struggling to find a why then it may be because this isn’t what you really want. 

5) Revisit it. If you truly want this thing but are struggling to find that “why that makes you cry” then write down what answer you do have and revisit it later. 

There can be a lot of pressure to discover your why. Give yourself grace. Your why is a tool to help you stay motivated and connect with others. It is not a life or death sort of thing. It’s absolutely ok to say this is not my goal/dream or to say I just don’t know my why right now. Don’t let it be the thing that prevents you from moving forward.

Your why might also mold and change with time. Sometimes moms with young kids are motivated by being the best mom for their kids. When their kids grow up their why is likely to change. Change is not scary and is perfectly acceptable. Allow you why to grow with you and continue to reveal new layers of it to yourself and others.

Remember YOU ARE BRAVE, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE AMAZING, & YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

5 Ways to Show Respect to Your Fellow Humans

5 Ways to Show Respect to Your Fellow Humans, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

There is a lot of disrespect going on in the world today. I feel like we have lost sight of the one thing we all have in common… our humanness. Even though our beliefs, perceptions, and experiences are all different we all have the same internal make up. To be considered a living human we all need brain function and a heart beat.

Humans aren’t perfect. We all come with our own imperfections and we all make mistakes. One of the biggest mistakes we make is not respecting other peoples humanness. We often come from a place of striving for perfection and judging all those who aren’t doing so as well. We weren’t meant to be perfect. Instead of shaming each other for those imperfections we should be respecting each others differences.

5 ways to show respect for your fellow humans

1) Listen with an open mind and a closed mouth. Even if their perspective is different than yours. 

2) Stop discriminating against people because they are “different”.

3) Admit you don’t know everything and be willing to learn. 

4) Release the assumption that everyone needs to think, act, or look like you. 

5) Treat them how you would expect to be treated NO MATTER WHAT!

If we were just born in a different country, family, body or environment we could have different beliefs, perceptions and opinions. Who can say that the way we are or think is right way. Sometimes there can be many right answers to the same question. How many ways are there to be a good human? There is an infinite number of ways.

When interacting with this world that is sometimes full of hate and negativity try not to forget our shared humanness. Don’t be that person that feels like they know everything, are always right, and refuse to learn anything new. Learning and growing is a part of being human. There will never be a day that we say “I made it! I’m perfect! I know everything I could ever need to and I make no mistakes.”

Remember YOU ARE BRAVE, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE AMAZING & YOU ARE ENOUGH!!! Your fellow humans are too.

XoXo

Megan Hall

How to Support Someone With Mental Illness

Mental Illness, Megan Hall, Life Coach. Motivational Speaker

Two weeks ago social media was in a stir over the death of two celebrities, Kate Spade & Anthony Bourdain, via suicide. During that week I saw some incredible support for those with mental illness. I also saw some very inconsiderate and ignorant comments about suicide and mental illness. Some of those comments even came from people in the wellness space. It’s as if mental wellness did not fit in the physical wellness space.

It’s hard to understand what it’s like to be in a place where suicide seems like the only option until you are there. I remember when I was younger thinking that suicide was selfish and that I could never do that. As I share in Suicide Awareness episode of The Inspired Women Podcast my first suicidal ideation came when I was 13 years old. Even after that I didn’t quite understand what brings someone to make that ultimate decision because I didn’t act on my ideation. It wasn’t until the time that I was acting on it that I could really understand.

How to support someone With Mental Illness

1) Check on them. Don’t just assume that because they seem ok that they are really ok.

2) Be a listening ear. You are most likely not a therapist so don’t try to diagnosis just listen. 

3) Encourage them to seek out a mental health professional. Diagnosis should come from a mental health professional not a friend or a primary care physician. 

4) Validate their feelings. Nothing is worse than having someone tell us that our feelings are invalid. 

5) Educate yourself. Learn more about signs of mental illness and suicide. Be a willing student. 

If you have never experiences mental illness or suicidal ideation it can be difficult to understand. It’s important we set aside our inherent biases and judgement so we can support those around us who are struggling. It’s not up to you to “save” someone with mental illness but it is important to support them. Each person has to make their own decisions when it comes to their mental health. When we are informed and supportive we can help with those decisions.

Just because someone may seem “happy” or “successful” that does not mean they aren’t struggling. Many of us have spent years learning how to fake being “ok”. That doesn’t mean the signs won’t be there just that we need to look a little closer to see them. Many times today’s society is too busy to see those signs. If you lose someone to suicide know it’s not your fault. It’s not that they didn’t love you or they thought you were awful. They were struggling and probably thought the world would be better off without them in it.

Remember YOU ARE BRAVE, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE AMAZING & YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

If you want more information on the subject of suicide prevention please listen to Episode 73 of The Inspired Women Podcast.

32 Lessons I’ve Learned

32 Lessons I've Learned, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

This week I will celebrate my 32nd trip around the sun. Looking back there are so many lessons I’ve learned but in honor of this birthday I am going to share 32! Many of these things I’ve shared over time in The Inspired Women Community or on The Inspired Women Podcast but this is a consolidation of all of that. Will these lessons always be true? Maybe! In the next year I will probably learn new & different ones.

32 lessons I’ve learned in 32 years

1) Life isn’t always fair. 

Yes I believe in karma. I also believe that sometimes shitty things happen to good people. Adversity does not discriminate.

2) Just because someone is family doesn’t mean they are good people. 

We have to set those boundaries with family. Just because someone is blood or pushed you out their vagina it does not mean they have the right to a spot in your life.

3) It only takes one decision to change the trajectory of your life. 

This can be good or bad. I’ve made decisions that changed my trajectory for the worse then later made decisions that changed my trajectory towards the better.

4) Profanity does not mean someone has a limited vocabulary or that they are not intelligent. 

Y’all some of the most intelligent people I know swear and they believe that profanity just adds to their vocabulary. I mean sometimes we just need a shit added in there for emphasis.

5) Change isn’t always a bad thing. 

In most cases change is good. As we age we learn and grow in new and amazing ways. In order to do that change is necessary.

6) We need friends. 

Friendships are necessary for our physical, mental & emotional health. Not any friendships though. Those friends who lift you up and support you.

7) Forgiveness is necessary. 

When we don’t forgive we drag that shit around with us forever. It’s not hurting the other person it’s only hurting us. By doing this we are allowing that person to continue to hurt us long after the initial hurt. That’s no way to live.

8) Even though we have come a long way we still have a long way to go.

Seriously though! The fact that there still is some very racist, homophobic, bigoted people out there on the planet means we still have a long way to go.

9) What you want today may not be what you want five years from now. 

What I wanted at 27 is no where near what I want today. I had full plans to be a personal trainer and make my own work out videos.

10) Everything we put in our bodies effects our bodies. 

Whether that’s what we are eating, what we are listening to, the air we breathe, etc… It all makes a difference.

11) There is no such thing as perfect. 

There’s just not. Embrace those imperfections because we all have them.

12) Technology is helping and hurting us at the same time. 

Look at how much we are on our phones or computers in a day. It’s addictive.

13) Our physical, mental & emotional health are all important. 

If your mental health is shit eventually your physical health will be and vice versa.

14) There will never be a point where we look and say “I made it.”

It’s human nature to keep striving towards something new. There’s never a time that we know everything and have done everything we want to.

15) Mental illness does not discriminate. 

It doesn’t matter what race, religion, sexual orientation, gender identity, socio-economic background someone is we are all susceptible.

16) Being you is the best person you can be. 

No one else can be you except you. Trying to be someone else is just being a second rate version of them.

17) Every human is equal. 

We all have a brain, a heart, & lungs. We all bleed. There’s is nothing that makes one of us better than another. If we were born in a different environment or had different experiences we might be someone else entirely.

18) Your experience in a situation will be different then someone in the same situation. 

Our beliefs, perceptions, opinions & past experiences taint our current experiences. That doesn’t make anyone right or wrong.

19) No one is safe from adversity. 

We all experience it in our lifetimes. Adversity doesn’t discriminate.

20) Hard is hard. 

Who really wants to win the game of who has it harder. I know I don’t.

21) No one can tell you how you feel or how you are suppose to feel. 

Our feelings are ours alone. No one has the right to dictate that.

22) Success is individual. 

Your definition of success and my definition of success are two different things. Don’t let anyone dictate that for you.

23) There can be more than one right answer. 

So many times we see things in black and white when actually there is a whole spectrum of color out there. Sometimes there can be more than one right answer for the same question.

24) Your intuition is one of the most valuable tools you have. 

Trust it!

25) You can never say what you would do until you’ve been in that exact situation under those exact circumstance. 

Today I saw someone say “I would never take my own life.” This is someone who stated they have also never experienced mental illness. You don’t know until you are there.

26) It is never to late to pursue your dreams. 

I know women who have pursued a new career later in life. They are rocking it too!

27) Just because someone’s life choice isn’t your own doesn’t mean they are wrong. 

We just naturally want to be right but leave it be. Just because you do something doesn’t make it right. It would be so boring if we were all alike.

28) Our experiences shape who we are but that doesn’t mean we are stuck that way. 

At any point in time we can decide this is not how our story ends.

29) Someone’s opinion about you has very little to do with you and everything to do with them. 

It’s all about their beliefs, perceptions, and insecurities. Their judgments about you have so much to do with that. Until they work through those it won’t matter what you do.

30) Apologies are absolutely necessary. 

If you do something wrong apologize. If you hurt someone’s feelings unintentionally apologize for hurting their feelings but don’t apologize for what you did not say/do.

31) You don’t need another person to complete you. 

You are more than enough just as you are. Don’t put that kind of expectation on someone else.

32) It’s 100% acceptable to ask for help when you need it. 

Whether it’s seeking out a therapist or asking you spouse to help more around the house or asking your friend to watch your cats. The worst thing that they can do is say no.

That’s it! I’m sure there are more things I have learned but I’ll keep it to 32. I would love to hear what lessons you’ve learned just comment below. Remember YOU ARE BRAVE, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE AMAZING, & YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

 

Ending the Stigma

Ending the Stigma, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

I remember when the first time I saw a therapist. My husband had to ask his work to leave early so I could go to my appointments every week. I remember being so worried that other people would find out and judge me. Over my life time I had heard so many people make cruel comments about people who were in therapy. That stigma is part of the reason I didn’t want to go in the first place.

Fast forward five years and I will tell anyone who will listen that I see a therapist. Why? It changed my life! So much so that I am pursuing a degree in psychology so I can help others as well. I openly share my story to help dismantle the stigma around mental health. Each time I share I hope that it will encourage others to go seek out therapy as well.

How we can help end the stigma around mental health

1) Seek out therapy ourselves. Others won’t learn just by hearing but by seeing. 

2) Share our mental health struggles openly. This doesn’t have to be with strangers but with those closest to us. 

3) Support others who are struggling by being empathetic not judgmental.

4) Speak out when we hear someone making ignorant comments about mental health. 

5) Surround ourselves with mental health advocates who are willing to talk about mental health. 

Mental health is just as important as physical health. Society doesn’t see a problem with seeking out a doctor when we have problems with physical health. It is ludicrous to think that it’s not also just as acceptable to seek out a therapist when we have problems with our emotional health. If we want to make total body health acceptable we must start here.

I am going to keep sharing my story and I hope you will as well. Let’s work towards ending the stigma around mental health together. Then perhaps more people will seek the help they need before it’s too late. If you want to hear more about my mental health journey you can tune into The Inspired Women Podcast or read Dealing With Depression and What I Learned From Being Clinically Depressed.

Remember you are beautiful, you are brave, you are amazing, and YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

 

Stop Tolerating Other People’s Bullshit

Stop tolerating other people's bullshit, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

Can I be real with you for a second? We tolerate way too much bullshit. Many times we do it because we don’t want to be mean or we can’t imagine what someone will say if we don’t. Guess what? We aren’t being mean and what people say about us is none of our business. That’s all about them not us. Stop tolerating other people’s bullshit.

When I was in college the first time around we read a book on bullshit. Yes there is a book on bullshit. It’s short, sweet and you can get it where ever books are sold. I haven’t read the book in awhile, like 12 years, but what I remember most about the book is how it points out that we tolerate to much bullshit. It’s not untrue. We, as a society, are so polite that sometimes we become too polite. During the process we fail to set boundaries with other people.

How to stop tolerating other People’s Bullshit

1) Learn to say no. Without excuse, without reason, without anything… No is a complete sentence. 

2) Stop spending time with people who drain you. Just cut them loose.

3) Be you unapologetic-ally. Stop pretending to be someone your not just to impress the bullshitters. 

4) Find your limit. We each can only tolerate so much bullshit in a day. Some times bullshit is unavoidable so know your limit.

5) Get real with your soul. Is this path really the one your suppose to be on?

That last tip might have thrown you for a loop. Why does the path I’m on really matter? We often tolerate other people’s bullshit because we think we have to in order to get where we want to be. Once we get there we realize this is not where we wanted to be at all! That’s because we don’t take the time to check in with ourselves and get real about where we are going.

No matter what your goals and dreams are you shouldn’t have to tolerate other people’s bullshit. It doesn’t make you polite. Instead it emotionally drains you or mentally exhausts you. That’s just not a life to live. Be merciless about setting boundaries. You only get one life, might as well make it a good one.

Remember YOU ARE BRAVE, YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, YOU ARE AMAZING, and YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

PS You can check out these resources on boundaries: Creating BoundariesBoundary Basics, & What’s in Your Space.

When My Daughter Said I Was Fake

When My Daughter Said I Was Fake, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

Last week my teenage daughter had a medical emergency in NY where she was living with her  biological father. Within 48 hours I was driving up there to be with her and create a plan to get her the help she needs. While we were in the hospital discussing the possibility of my daughter moving back with me her father turned to me and said “She says you are fake.” I was so confused and embarrassed that my teenage daughter would be saying that about me to others.

Over the course of the next five days as we met with doctors and she was admitted to a new hospital the idea that I was fake kept coming up. I even brought up this comment to her and asked why… the answers weren’t pretty. It wasn’t until I came back home that the implications of this comment really set in. My 15 year old daughter thinks I pretend to be something I am not. Why would she think this? What kind of example am I setting? Getting the answers required a lot of self reflection.

HOw I Can Stop being fake

1) Instead of saying my family is a top priority I need to show them they are by being intentional about the time I spend with them.

2) Make sure the at home me and the online me are on the same page. 

3) Don’t share everything on social media. Transparency is important but there needs to be boundaries. 

4) Accept that my kids did not sign up to be public figures and respect their boundaries around that. 

5) Be more open to the feedback of my children especially when it comes to me as a person or a parent. 

This was a wake up call for me. It was painful to reflect on where my daughter’s perception might be right. During this reflection I saw where my public persona diverged from my private one. As a teenager who uses social media my daughter saw this too. It’s difficult to admit when someone might be right in criticism of you but in order to learn we must swallow our pride.

It was a blow to my ego to have a light shined on my inauthenticity. I want to be someone my children look up to and learn from. The only way to do that is to be more present with them and be sure I’m in alignment both publicly and privately. This will be a whole new experience because I didn’t even see this problem before it was pointed out to me.

I share this in hopes that you can learn from this mistake as well. There is never a time that we will be done learning and growing. Remember you are brave, you are bright, you are amazing, YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall

What I Learned From Being Clinically Depressed

Clinically Depressed, Megan Hall, Life Coach, Motivational Speaker

Why is positivity so important to me? It’s because I know what it’s like to be negative. Towards the end of 2013 after a failed suicide attempt a doctor diagnosed me as clinically depressed. Nothing like being slapped with a  label to make you not be so positive. Most of my life I had experienced depression even from a very young age. Yet I was a pretty positive child.

Since being diagnosed over 4+ years I have learned many ways to cope with my depression. I’ve learned to be more mindful of how I’m feeling. Also I’ve learned to be more mindful about who I allow in my space. Even though I’m diagnosed as clinically depressed I don’ think that it has to be a part of my life forever. I can choose to do things to diminish it’s effects on me.

What I Learned From Being Clinically Depressed

1) It’s just a diagnosis not a life sentence. 

2) Taking care of myself is the most important thing I need to do.

3) Consistently negative people can trigger my depression. 

4) Healing takes time and the more I heal the less depressed I am.

5) A positive person can experience depression. 

Many of the things I do to help me diminish the effects of depression on me are the same things that have helped me build a more positive mindset. It all starts in the mind which is a fascinating complex thing. Only 50% of who we are is genes, the other 50% is our experiences. That means my genetics only are responsible for about 50% of my depression. The other 50% is how the experiences of my life shaped me.

That to me is fantastic news because it truly proves that being diagnosed with clinical depression is not a life sentence. I can, with time and hard work, overcome this diagnosis. Can I “cure” myself? No but I may go extended periods of time without ever experiencing depression. That’s like music to my ears.

If the label slapped on you is clinically depressed or negative or anything else know you can overcome this. It might take time. It might take hard work. You might even need professional help but you can do this! Remember you are brave, you are beautiful, you are amazing, and YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!

XoXo

Megan Hall