Let’s be honest making friends as an adult can be difficult and kind of awkward. It’s not as easy as going up to someone and saying ” Hey let’s be friends”. Although we all wish it was. Friendship is like dating. It’s kind of messy and takes time but when you find the right person it works out in the end. Unfortunately it also means you will end up with some heart ache too.
Last year I had this friend who I was super close to. We did everything together. We laughed, we cried, we shared our whole life stories, but then it started to fall apart. She started pulling away from me and shutting me out. It wasn’t one of those friendships that ended and you knew it ended. It was kind of like when a guy just stops returning your phone calls and avoids you out in public. He doesn’t officially break up with you so you don’t really know it’s over until you see him with someone else. Itwas like that but I didn’t know it was over until she deleted me off Facebook.
How Friendship is like dating
- You don’t want to tell them your whole life story on your first date (hang out). Ease them into that mess.
- It takes several dates before you’re in a relationship (friends). Consistent time together is so crucial here.
- Opposites attract but having nothing in common makes things difficult. Don’t just look for people just like you.
- You have to let them know the real you or it will never work out. Lack of transparency leads to distrust and drama.
- Not every date will turn into a second date and you won’t marry (become BFFs) every person you date.
Good news is even though building friendship is like dating it’s not exactly like dating. You won’t have to choose only one BFF. You can date (build friendships with) several people at once. Everyone you are dating can hang out and it won’t be weird. There’s a lot of similarities between dating and friendships but there is a lot of differences too.
Not every friendship will lead to that best friend (marriage) and not every friendship will last (divorce) but we can enjoy the time we have with our friends in the meantime. It’s ok to decide after some time of spending with someone that you don’t click with them. Sometimes people change, you or them, and the relationship doesn’t survive that change. Even though it’s sometimes messy, hurtful, and difficult it’s completely worth it when you find your friends.
Remember you are beautiful, you are worthy, you are amazing, & YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!!
If you want more information on the topic of friendship check out these resources.