Who’s In Control Here


Who’s in control of your life? The answer is simple it’s you. Many times when I say this people look at me cross eyed and laugh a bit. I am 100% serious! If you want to know who controls your life look in the mirror. It’s not your mom, friend, spouse, kids, boss, etc…. it’s you.

That also means we are not in control of other people’s lives. We can provide guidance and advice but we cannot force others to listen. I’m a mom of four unique children and there is not a moment that I can MAKE them do something. They have to choose to do it.  That is the same for us as individuals, we have to choose.

This week my oldest daughter who is thirteen said to me “You created me this way.” I explained to her that I provided her the cells but she can choose how they play out. It’s like when people say obesity is in my genes. Maybe so but we can choose to eat healthy and exercise  to combat those very genetics. We always have a choice.

The question is whether you want to make the choice. Sometimes we decide not to make a choice. It might seem too hard, too daunting, too impossible, or too scary. Then we might claim we have no control over our circumstances but in reality we chose not to have control.

Maybe right now you are feeling quite overwhelmed not knowing where to even begin. Here are a few quick tips on how to take back control of your life:

  1. Discover the areas in your life that are holding you back from living the life you want to live. Write them down.
  2. What needs to happen in order for these things to no longer be a problem? Like an equation what needs to be added or subtracted to get the solution.
  3. What steps can you personally take? Remember you can only control you, your actions, and you reactions.  Break it down.
  4. Create a plan. You already have the steps now create a plan When you are you going to take which step? Everything can’t happen overnight.
  5.  Take the first step, then the next, so on and so forth. Be patient because everything take time. Stay on the path and you will see results.

Who’s in control here? You are. You write your own story. It doesn’t matter your age, gender, race or religion. People of all walks of life have chosen to make a change and seen it through. Don’t allow others to dictate how your story is going to go.

It might be scary, it might take some hard work, and it’s definitely going to take time but if you want to make a change you can. Taking control of your life starts today. No more sitting by using reasons, excuses, or sad stories to validate why other people are controlling your life.

July 2010 I left a toxic, abusive relationship with nothing to my name. I had no car, no job, no license, and two young children to care for. It was scary, very scary. I didn’t know where I would live or how I would survive but I knew I needed to make a change. I took back control of my life and so can you. It starts today, just take the first step.

Remember YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!!



PS If you need some help taking back the control of your life and breaking down what you need to do to be in control check out my Better Together Group Program