There’s only one relationship that effects how all your other relationships will go. That relationship is your relationship with yourself. When we are constantly putting ourselves last and putting ourselves down it significantly impacts our other relationships. If we aren’t taking care of ourselves and talking negatively to ourselves we can’t show up as the best version of ourselves. That means our friends, family, clients, business associates get the watered down version.
When we talk down to ourselves and we don’t take care of ourselves we are subconsciously giving others permission to do the same to us. That’s why it hurts so much when someone says something not so awesome about us because at one point in time we’ve said the same thing to ourselves. It’s like they are validating that we were really right. A poor relationship with ourselves puts out the wrong signals. Instead of attracting amazing, positive supportive people we start attracting some not so amazing ones.
What can you do about it? First off take ownership of your life. You can only control your actions, reactions, thoughts, and words, You cannot control anyone else’s. Take ownership of what you’ve done and what you need to do.
Try the following steps to help improve your relationship with yourself:
1) Practice Consistent Self Care. This doesn’t have to be long and strenuous focus on doing something daily that give you energy.
2) Reframe Your Negative Self Talk. State your self talk in the positive and look for evidence that the positive self talk is true.
3) Tune Into How YOU Are Feeling. Instead of stuffing away all your feelings and putting on a “brave face” start tuning into what you are feeling and why you are feeling it.
You are the most important person in your life. You argue “No my kids are.” or ” No my spouse is.” or “No my clients are”. No, you are because you cannot give them the best version of you if you are always putting yourself last. Self Care is not selfish it’s necessary.
Start treating yourself the way you would someone you love. How would you talk to them? How would you treat them? What advice would you give them? Do those things for yourself as well. You are the one person you will have to live with for your entire life.
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