Communication issues is one of the top reasons relationships fail according to Psychology Today. Our words can be used as weapons against each other. So often we don’t think before we speak instead we speak from pure emotion. Words can also be very wonderful tools in conveying love and empathy even soothing someone when they have experienced pain or heartache. Word don’t have to be the bad guy.
Many of the problems I see on social media and in society stem from piss poor communication. Instead of taking time to think through what we are going to say we just say whatever comes to mind. Now in no way am I saying we shouldn’t speak our truth. I’m all for speaking your truth. We need to take time to properly articulate what we want to say so it’s aligned with what we mean. Basically take some time to think before you speak. There is a time, place, and word for everything.
We never know how our seemingly innocent comments might effect another person. Recently I posted on Facebook about the comments I recieve about my overflowing cart at the grocery store. To this day despite the massive amounts of personal development I have done it still bothers me. It’s not as bad as four or five years ago when I was barely holding it together and a comment like that would have completely unraveled me. We just don’t know what another person is going through and sometimes it’s best that we just keep our comments to ourselves.
How you can think before you speak
1) Always keep judgement out of your mouth. No one has the right to place judgement on another person. Our judgments could dramatically impact another person and not in a good way.
2) Ask yourself ” Do I really need to say this?” or “Is this really necessary?” Most of the comments that cause problems are completely unnecessary.
3) Is what you are going to say authentic to you? Many times we get ourselves in trouble by saying things that are completely not aligned with who we are.
4) Avoid saying things from an emotional place. When we angry, sad, or frustrated we often say things we don’t really mean.
5) Remember you can’t take words back. Once they are out there they are out there. Do you really want to be remembered for saying that? Even a social media post will stay alive after you delete it due to people’s memories and screen shots.
Now like I always say don’t beat yourself up when you say something you shouldn’t have. We all make mistakes. The best thing is to apologize for it and do your best not to make that mistake again. People’s perceptions often dictate how they take what we say. I’ve both offended and inspired people with the same words. At that point in time all we can say is “That’s not how I intended that and I am sorry that I hurt you with what I said” The rest is up to them.
This world could be a much better place if we all just took the time to think before we speak. On multiple occasions I have posted on social media out of hurt or frustration and that never turns out well. By checking what I am going to say with the steps up above I am far less likely to negatively impact others with what I say. I want the same for you. Let’s aim to convey kindness, empathy, and compassion .
If you need support on this please reach out. I have helped many of my clients with their communication not only to other but with themselves as well. Remember as always YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!