One thing that adult women seem to struggle the most with is cultivating healthy friendships. When we become adults we lose our regular interactions with other people. As children we would have interactions with other children at school on a regular basis. Our friendships developed almost effortlessly out of that.
When I interviewed Shasta Nelson for The Inspired Women Podcast she shared many amazing tips on how to develop healthy friendships. One of the biggest thing that stuck out to me in that conversation and by reading her books is the importance of having a variety of friends. We need all levels of friendships not just best friends but acquaintances too. According to Shasta there are five levels of friendship and they are all important in our lives. You can read more about that HERE.
What I Mean By A Variety of friends
1) Having friends that are similar to different aspects of your life. For me this would mean military spouse friends, mom friends, and entrepreneur friends.
2) Having friends who are also different. For me this would mean I might have a friend who is an entrepreneur but not a mom and/or military spouse or some other form.
3) Having close friends and having some not so close friend. Those five levels of friendship are very important. We will only have 3-7 “best friends”.
4) Accepting not all friends are forever friends and being ok with it. Friends are there for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.
5) Continuing to make new friends as you go. We need to continue to add to our friendship circle. Some people will fall off and some people will come on.
Friendship takes effort from both parties. It would be so much easier if we could just show up some place and ta da we have a new friend. Unfortunately it’s not that easy, it takes time, it takes effort, and it takes a certain level of vulnerability from both parties.
Why is important to have a variety of friends? Besides obviously allowing you to see other perspectives beside your own. Some days you might just want that person you can talk to that can understand your unique circumstances. Other days one friend might be going through something and you don’t want to bother them with your woes. Different friends fulfill different roles in our lives but they are
imperfect humans too. There will be times they aren’t available either emotionally or physically and that ok!
If you want to learn more on the topic of friendship you can read Women Need Healthy Friendships, Not Everyone Will Be Your Best Friend, and How To Attract Your Tribe. Shasta Nelson’s books are also a great resource. No matter what remember YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!