What Relationships Are Not

Relationships can be a struggle. It doesn’t matter what kind of relationships they are whether they are marriages, friendships, parenting, etc… The line between healthy relationships and unhealthy relationships can become a blur. When does something cross the line?

Often times it’s not an overnight thing. Like the first time you go on a date with your boyfriend he slaps you or the moment you met your friend they took full on advantage of your generosity. It’s often a gradual progression from an ok relationship to how the hell did I get here.

On this blog post I am not going to focus on what a relationship is but instead focus on what it is not. The signs and symptoms that might mean you need to get out or at the very least get some help. If someone cannot admit there is a problem or they refuse to work on things together that’s a huge red flag that things are quite what they should be.

Five things that relationships are not:

  • Abusive: That means physically, sexually, verbally, or emotionally. Abuse is abuse. Abuse can be defined as “to treat a person with cruelty or violence, especially regularly or repeatedly.”
  • Consistently Stressful: This does not mean you will not experience stress in your relationships but stress should not be a constant
  • Draining: Relationships should have a give and take. You help fill them up. They help fill you up. They should not be only draining you bucket without filling it up.
  • Unsupportive: This does not mean everyone is your life with support every hair brained scheme you come up with. This does mean they should generally support you in your life versus tearing you down.
  • Deceitful: A relationship full of lies is no relationship at all.

It takes 5 positive experience to negate every negative experience in your life. Look at your relationships are the positives outweighing the negatives? There will be ebbs and flows where things will be harder as we all overcome adversity but ask if the average positive.

Relationships do take work. One person cannot be the one always putting in the work. It takes both people to put in a solid effort. I mean really put in an effort not just saying they will and never following through.

I hope by taking a look at what relationships are not you can identify what to do with your relationships in your life. They can fall into one of these three categories: Keepers, Need Some Work, or This Needs to End NOW. Ask yourself which relationships fall in which category. Your mental, physical, and emotional health is important.

If you would like to read more about relationships you can view my blog posts: Not Everyone Will Be Your Best FriendHow a Deployment Saved My Marriage, and How to Attract Your Tribe.

Remember YOU ARE ENOUGH!!!



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